The most incredible book I’ve ever read is called Man’s Search for Meaning (MSFM) by Viktor Frankl. Frankl is an amazing man – I can’t do his book justice with any summary, so I recommend you read it. MSFM, as the name suggests, is about our endless search for the meaning of life. Frankl was a Jewish person who was interned in a concentration camp during the Holocaust. He fortunately survived that horrible atrocity. The book is about how he found meaning as he fought to stay alive in the concentration camp. Incredible is the word that jumps out at me when I think about the book.
Frankl was actually a psychologist who came up with a new form of therapy due to his experiences during the Holocaust. That’s a story for another day. Today, we’re here to talk about the meaning of life. Frankl suggests meaning is something we create in three ways: 1) by being mindful, 2) by having purpose, and 3) through love. 1 and 2 are both interesting, but I want to talk about love.
Even with the horrors that surrounded him, Frankl kept love alive in his heart. In fact, he says that it was one of the reasons he was able to stay alive through the inhumane conditions. Specifically, he kept thinking about reuniting with his wife after the war ended, and that love was one of the forces that carried him through. Just amazing – imagine holding onto your love as you experience the most loveless experiences a human being can ever experience.
It is amazing to me how little mind we way to love. We’re judged as a human being by the things we do – our job/vocation are the most important factors. Do we earn enough? Do we have the right titles? Are we on the right career trajectory? The most human parts of us are secondary to all that noise. No one asks us how much we love. No one asks us who we love and what we love. We say “love you” to loved ones without thinking about the way we hurt them. Love, to me, means being as vulnerable as possible. It means giving your full heart to those you care about. It means being willing to accept our mistakes and ask for forgiveness, even if it bruises our fragile egos.
The damn ego, that’s the whole problem. We create this sense of self that’s dependent on always believing we’re good and that we’re always right. It keeps us from loving fully, with no reservations. Ego is the opposite of love in my opinion. Ego is about us – love is about others. Ego is about being guarded – love is about being as open as we possibly can be.
We must love not just the ones around us, but all of humanity. Love every soul you will meet, and every single one you won’t. We cheer for “our” people in war as if we’re playing a sport, not engaging in the most heinous thing we can do. We refuse to love the “other”, because the other is our enemy. The funny thing is, the “other” has no ill-will towards us. We allow the actions of a few to define a nation, a civilization, a people.
I think about Viktor Frankl, and despite having read his book, I still don’t know how he had the courage and strength to survive all he did. What I know is that I can only think that he would be disappointed if he saw the world today. We say we must learn from the past, but what have we really learned? Have we learned anything if we allow the countless deaths of innocents around the world? Have we learned anything if we choose when we will care, and when we won’t? Have we learned anything if we blame those who have never had a thought of harming us and decide their verdict is guilty?
Love is the most important force in the world, and we bury it. It’s secondary to our vocations and our needs and all the things that are left to accomplish. What is it all for, if not love? What is the point of riches as an end? There is more power in an ounce of love than all the gold in the world.
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